I
woke up early this
morning. My wife had fallen asleep watching tv (talk about role
reversal). I went to the living room to do some work on the
computer and caught myself half-listening to the late-late show that
was about to end. It was a movie that had four recognizable actors
(Diane Lane, Diane Keaton, Sam Shepard and Robert Patrick). In the
movie, it appeared that Shepard and Keaton had a chance at love when
they were young and let it pass, only to later regret the mistake.
Oddly enough, their children from other relationships, Patrick and
Lane-respectively, have a chance at love that they are allowing to
pass as well. Foreshadowing, Patrick says, “I don’t think we have a
choice-we just become our parents” (loose quotation, but you get the
idea). Then, a scene later you learn that they are following their
parent’s pattern in letting love pass them by.
Yesterday, I caught myself in a
gesture that reminded me of my father. If I had been outside of my
body I think that I would have been eerily reminded of my dad by the
way that I turned my head, my facial expression and the way that I
spoke the words. Immediately, I began to wonder why I responded in
that manner. You know when you spend your life growing up with
someone that you are supposed to look up to you begin to model your
behavior to mimic theirs-for better or for worse.
Not yesterday, but at times past I
have had incidents where I have smashed my thumb with a hammer, or
had a day where everything breaks down and you seemto catch every
red light. In those incidents or on those days at the point where
the camel’s back breaks I find myself mentally responding like my
father would. Now I can’t place that response here because I would
be censored (rightfully so), but I think that some of you know what
I am talking about. How did I learn such terrible behavior? I
learned it from my dad. Did he sit me down and tell me that when I
smash my thumb real hard with a hammer to say such and such in just
this way? Of course not. However, by watching how he handled
himself in those situations I learned how to respond if I should
ever find myself in the same situation.
So, what am I trying to tell you?
Your kids are watching you. They are depending upon you to teach
them how to live life. They are going to learn honesty, integrity,
anger management, husbandry (wifery), humility, budgeting,
servanthood, health habits and all sorts of other things all from
how you model it before them. You can tell them not to act a
certain way or to act a certain way, but they will listen more to
your actions than they will to your voice.
How are you living? Is your life
the example that you want your child to follow? What are you
teaching your children? Remember that you are their life teacher
and with that comes a heavy responsibility.
